Sunday, March 15, 2009
DEPRESSION
I have a child who suffers from severe depression at times. I often do not know what my role should be. With this child, we have completely abandoned the parenting role we believe is right in order to keep this child "safe". The problem is, it seems that this actually cripples this child and keeps them from "growing up". I find myself asking the same questions over and over. and I never seem to have an answer.... Any help???
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7 comments:
As a child who suffers from cripling depression, all i can offer you is hugs. This is something that, well you cannot fix for your child. All you can do is love them, get them the help they need, and ask them what you can do. If this child is old enough to tell you, open up a dialog as to what tools can be used to make life a bit easier for everyone. Sometimes just a listening ear is what is required. I know that when I get "down", it helps to have someone to talk to that is not going to either judge me or try and fix me.
The only help i can offer is from the perspective of the child. You CANNOT understand depression unless you've been through it. What helped me the most is when my parents asked me what I thought the best course of action was Of course, only use this if the child is trustworthy. And treat them with infinite patience. You're not the only ones frustrated with their issues. It's hard for the self-esteem. Make sure that you do not lose confidence in your child. Because then your child will lose confidence in themself.
Having a child with depression is very trying. Lots of tears and frustration. Lots of feeling tired down deep in your bones. But what a joy it is when you see a tiny bit of progress!
There is a great deal that can be done to help a child who suffers from depression. I'm sure you are reading about it. You didn't mention the age of your child -- that makes a difference. Have you talked to a pediatrician or child psychologist?
I have a child that was showing signs of sudden mood swings and depression. I noticed a huge and almost immediate improvement after having this child take a good multi-vitamin on a daily basis. Not a cure all, but I know any little bit will help.
Depression can be overcome by appreciation. Recognizing the good things in your life. Showing appreciation. This is the kind of"love" that pulls you out of depression. The old saying "What you feed grows", is true. Turn all your attention to the good things, the positive things in your life.
Sometimes depression can be cured by being more positive and looking at the bright side. I know from experience that clinical depression is not usually overcome by this method. I have had depression and had children and other family members with depression and if it is an imbalance of chemicals in the brain you need professional help. For myself and some of my family members, medication and therapy made such a difference. I had suffered with periods of depression as a child and for many years as an adult and am so grateful for the blessing of modern medicine that changed my night into day. I no longer need medication but am grateful that I was brave enough to seek professional help.I have not had a depressive period for more than 15 years now. Many people try to tough it out and think that they should be able to control themselves and their emotions or are afraid others will judge them if they seek professional help. As a parent it is hard to know if your child is just acting like a teenager, going through a phase or if they need professional help. I guess I would rather be safe than sorry. We live in a very complicated and stressful period of time in history. Our parents and grandparents had a totally different lifestyle. I think sometimes we expect to much of ourselves and our children especially living in this competitive area of the world.
Some of the symptoms of depression are anger with family and friends, withdrawing from family or friends, sleeping a lot, less appetite or more appetite, a negative attitude, not interested in activities,a sharp drop in grades, drug or alcohol use. Sleep extremes and nutrition can bring on depression.
It is important to remember that we are not alone in our struggles and that there are others who can help both spiritually and professionally. Our Bishop has been give responsibility over us and can help to guide and bless us. Sometimes as parents we are to close to the situation and it helps to have the perspective of others. As loving parents we just want our kids to be happy. Unfortunately we don't have control over that only our Heavenly Father does.
This is only my opinion so take it as you will.
My suggestion would be twofold. One: Try not to fear trying various remedies available. Most do not have irreversible effects such that if you try meds for a while, for example, if it doesn't work, you can stop and try a different remedy. This would apply to prescriptions, to vitamins, to therapy, to alternative methods of help. Second, try to see this through the child's eyes. How difficult it must be for him/her to function as other kids do? How hard it must feel to know you can't make your mind and body think and act as it should! What a difficult struggle for a child with limited understanding of life to try and figure out why he/she is different. Perhaps you have tried this but I would encourage it again. It develops a deeper level of empathy and understanding that may make it a little easier to cope with when it is particularly difficult.
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